tirsdag den 7. oktober 2014

Manginas are an issue!

Hi bitches!
I was going to write my standard Monday morning Real Housewives recap but felt on this particular Monday a much stronger urge to express my opinions on an epidemic sweeping the nation: The Mangina.
Last night as I sipped my champagne and watched the swampland shit show that IS the Real Housewives of New Jersey, I sat in disbelief at a certain househusband. There he sat, sipping a mimosa like a little Polly Pocket, clad in light wash denim and interjecting in the women’s conversation. His commentary was unsolicited, unfiltered and un-amusing. I watched with my cousin and fellow super-fan Shelby trying to diagnose him.
Is he an asshole? Yes. Little man syndrome? Duh. Desperate for camera time? Obvi. But what was the real issue? He simply has a Mangina.
Sure, we have seen surges of this misdiagnosed genitalia in the past but I personally have never felt the relevance as much as I do now. Manginas are taking over the universe. You may be stroking your chin, checking your tampon inventory and wondering “What exactly IS a Mangina?”
But worry no more, I am here to ease your musings.

Thoughts from Nashville

Howdy bitches!
I have been in Nashville past few days eating fried gator, drinking beer and hiding my Judaism. Unfortunately my hotel doesn’t have Bravo (already complained to management) and there will be no recap this week. On a lighter note, Jim Marchese tweeted me and I was able to tell him personally about my distaste for his light wash denim #troll.

I think I wanna marry him!

OMG, so today I was out with Boo and he took to see the elephants at some circus shit, and he said the sweetest thing! He was like: "You remind me of the elephants in some way," Isn't that the nicest thing you've ever heard? You know 'cause like, the elephants know tricks and stuff?
And then he bought me cotton candy and we shared it, and he told me my butt looks nice in these jeans and I DIED! He is my future husband. I'm sure of it.